Live in the Present.

I am in the midst of reading Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert and have found myself following in her footsteps through overanalyzing the past but ultimately seeking inner peace. I have always wondered why we are so obsessed with the past and the future and why we never appreciate the present? So here I am, trying to figure out, how to live in the present. Here in Mexico, starting over. New Language, New Life, New traditions and New People.


I woke up sick yesterday morning with the worst stomach pains, and after my usual inner debate over whether to go to work or not, I decided I needed to stay in bed. (Which I must admit was a good idea.) After a few more hours of sleep I decided that it was time to get up and cook some food and pulled out my old friend Elliot Smith for a little comfort. (Have I mentioned how my music is a constant comfort for me?) I also decided to try eating a grapefruit for some vitamins. As I sat there at our table eating this deliciously juicy grapefuit, I realized, oh my god, I like grapefruit! I know, why am I telling you about liking grapefruit, this is not a big deal... But my memory flew back to childhood. Eating breakfast with my Mom. She loved grapefruits, bought them and sprinkled sugar on them most mornings. And I, a young girl wanting so badly to like them since mom did, would ask her day after day to have a little triangle section in hopes that today would be the day that I liked it. But day after day my face twisted with the dislike of the outrageously sour fruit. Now here I am 15 or some odd years later, and I finally like them! Not only did I feel like this story helps me to live in the moment and appreciate these little memories. But it just like everything in my life, means that with time. With time I grow to accept things, to love the bitterness of life.


Which brings me into a bittersweet moment that I had here. Last week we had a family over for dinner. After a delicious meal the family shared a very difficult story with us. The family lost their oldest daughter in a car accident less than a year prior. The second the mother opened up, it was evident that this grieving process was in full force, and unfortunately dragging them down with it. While this moment was very difficult, for the first time here I had something to offer these people. I was able to share with them my experience with grieving my mom. And I told them my experience, and how with time I decided I wanted to be happy again. While I am sure sharing my story hasn't lessened their grief, I hope that it provided them with the smallest ray of hope. That the struggles are actually what make us survive this life. A bitter moment that brough us together and reminded me how lucky I am to have the opportunity to really live life. With everything I have. I know I have been talking about my mom a lot here, but I have felt her here with me a lot. And I think maybe these are the final stages of healing.


On to better things. We have had the opportunity to explore the city!!! We went out one day last weekend with Caro and Jess's friend Ricardo and he drove us to a restaurant/bar in the city! Apparently tequila and squirt is a big drink here, so I am fully enjoying my Squirt!! We also went and saw the Time Traveler's wife at the movie theater in the rich part of Santa Fe. The movie theater was in a mall that literally looked like it had been taken out of Chicago or Naperville. California Pizza Kitchen, Starbucks, Game Planet and even Saks Fifth Avenue. Its amazing the drastic difference between the Santa Fe that we live in and that Santa Fe. But it was nice to see a movie for the first time in a month.


The Day Care is a Roller Coaster. Each day is different. My co-teacher was sick one day this week and has classes today and tomorrow, so it has been difficult trying to keep the kids from getting crazy. Some days they listen to me as a teacher and some days they just want to do what they want to do. But everytime a kid comes up and gives me a hug, I feel like it is all worth it. I have even recieved a few "Te Quiero Mucho"s (I like you a lot) from the kids. While we are trying to teach the kids to be able to sit still, pay attention, not hit one-another and do their work, I try and also talk with them and play with them a bit each day. Im not sure if this is more for their benefit or mine, but I enjoy it a lot. I have also attempted taking on some of the trouble- makers and disruptive kids and giving them one-on-one attention with their classwork. Some days it works, and some days they just do what they want to do. Im practicing my patience but remembering, they are just kids. But regardless they bring me joy everyday. Well...and a pretty nasty cold...


That's all I got. Thanks for being here with me. Peace.